The Pressure and the Price of Being an Asian Student

In many Asian communities, education is the top priority. Many parents put tremendous pressure on their child to not only graduate from high school, but do so with honors. According to the U.S. Census Bureau (2009) ” Non-Hispanic whites had the highest proportion with a high school diploma or higher (90.0 percent), followed by Asians (86.8 percent), African-Americans (80.6 percent) and Hispanics (58.4 percent)”. Simply passing is not sufficient or satisfactory for some Asian American parents. Instead they want their child to excel in high school and college. While it is obvious that education seems to be important to a great number of Asians, the statistic does not tell more than the basic facts. For example, it does not show the pressure and stress some of these Asian students go through in their quest for a high school diploma or post secondary education. Of course there is a good reason to celebrate this achievement, but the road to higher education attainment can be detrimental to some Asian students due to excessive parental pressure, critique, and admonishment. Most parents no matter what ethnicity they are, equate a good education to a brighter future. While some motivate and encourage their kids to do well in school, others lecture, prod or threathen their kids to be successful. Most of the Asian students I have heard from and taught are under more pressure from their parents to be the best when it comes to school. I am not taking anything away from American parents or contend that only Asian parents are tough on their kids when it comes to education. However, it has been my experience that Asian parents can be slightly tougher, overbearing and demanding when it comes to achievement in school. Simply getting A’s is not enough for some Asian parents. The want their kids to get the highest A’s and be the best. To put it bluntly, they want their kids to be perfect when it comes to school. For example, one of my former student is a senior this year and number one out of over 586 students. Due to her Advanced Placement courses she is number one as well as her dedication and hardwork. Also she has close to 30 hours of college credit. To make a long story short, most parents would be estatic about this achievement. While her parents are proud of her, they still think she can do more. For instance, another student in her community (Indian) was nominated by our school for a prestigious scholarship and her parents asked her why she wasn’t nominated. They nagged and nagged her about it and made her feel that was at fault for since the other in her Asian girl was nominated. Things like this, drives her insane even though she is the best (academically), her parents are not giving her any slack. She can’t go out like other teens. She works, but is not allowed to drive while her other senior friends do. The tremendous pressure from her parents to do well is cultural she says. In her Asian community, there it is understood that the kids represent their parents and they have to be the best in everything, from behavior to academics. This student along with many others have shared their frustration about their parents’ expectation. All of them ask what they can do to make it better? What they can say to their parents to give them a break. Also, they have asked what other students have done to survive the madness while they are still at home. Here are some suggestions, but it is best to seek professional counseling like your school counselors or a private one if you can afford it. Based on my reflections and personal experience, here are several ideas to lessen the pressure your parents put on you. 1. Communicate your frustration to your parents. Talk to them. If that doesn’t work which from my experience with Asian parents will not. Some of your parents will accuse you of talking back to them. Some will say that they are doing what is best for you and they really are,but just going about it the wrong way. If verbal communication is ineffective, write them a letter or email them. If your parents are not computer literate than that will not work. Sometimes, leaving a note for them explaining want you want and having them read it, gives them time to process the information. 2. Create your own network of supporters ( friends, other family members, your church, temple, etc). My friends and siblings helped me out tremendously. Simply talking them actually helps. 3. Get involve in school activities so you have an outlet. Join clubs or sports or do community service. This is actually beneficial to your college dreams because it helps you become more marketable for scholarship. Explain to your parents how this will help you get money for school (colleges are looking for students who can balance school and extra-curricular activities). 4. Get a hobby. Mine was writing, drawing, reading, and sewing. You have to relax! Make it a point to take a break from school for an hour a day to do what you want like listening to music or take a nap or do something nice for yourself. Since my parents did not let me do much outside the house, I read a great deal. Also, my friends came over to my house since I was not allowed to go to theirs. My mom barely let me go three houses down to hang out. 5. Get over it. What I mean is that it is useless to focus on the problem or frustration. Like many of us, our parents will not let up or stop nagging. You know some of your parents are not going to stop so why stress about it. Crying about the unfairness or injustice is not going to get you anywhere. You have to work with what you have. For example, if your parents don’t let you go anywhere, then find something in the house to do that will relieve the stress. 6. Put everything in two categories: things you can control and things out of your control. For example, your reaction to your parents’ expectation is controlled by YOU not them. Whether you cry, scream or yell is up to you. Don’t let them frustrate you. You know their rules is out of your control so work within the confines of it. For instance, my mom did not let me go to hang with my friends if they were not in the same neighborhood. So, I compromise with my parents to have my friends come over to the house. Also, since my parents were so strict and did not allow me to have any social life, I joined clubs at school and participated in church activities. I know many of you are under tremendous pressure to do well. Don’t give up. Hang in there and give yourself a break once in a while.

Quest Bridge Scholarship

Students if you are a junior, here is an awesome

opportunity for you in regards to college visits,

summer programs, and scholarships. Quest-

Bridge is a nonprofit organization whose main

goal is to help low-income students get to

college.  The program is called: The College

Prep Scholarship. According to the letter they

sent me: 

The College Prep Scholarship allows students

to access many opportunities through one

application, including:

1. full scholarships to college summer programs

at Harvard University, Stanford University, the

University of Notre Dame, and Yale University

2. 40 awards of college admissions counseling

provided by experienced QuestBridge staff

3. 1,000 invitations to QuestBridge College

Admissions Conferences at Stanford alnd Yale

4. 100 all-expense paid visits to top-ranked

colleges

The College Prep Scholarship application is free

of charge and due March 31, 2009.  Please go to

www.questbridge.org to apply.  If you need any

help let me know.

Shift Happens

This is an interesting video about technology and its impact on the future as well as education.  Are we becoming too addicted to technology as well as dependent on it?  How will technology change education? Will computers replace teachers one day?

Bryan Thao Worra: Laotian American Writer

*** Bryan is an amazing writer, poet, and playwright!  He is a Laotian American Writer who has been featured in countless magazine.  He even has a book of poetry published called, On the Other Side of the Eye.  Read on to find out his perspective on education.  Maybe some of you will aspire to be a writer someday.  I am also posting an example of his work as well as his reflection below. You can visit him on myspace at: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=206092788.

One of the pressing challenges for Laotian American youth today is the decision to go to college, and to see it as a valuable part of their life experiences.

Often it is easy to be tempted to go directly to work, to work in a factory and raise a family. If that’s your passion and your life’s calling, and if you think this will make you happy, you can do this. History has demonstrated time and time again that Laotian Americans can work as well as anyone else and not pursue a college education.

But history has also shown that Laotian Americans who value college and seek education for themselves also find great happiness and both immediate and long-term success, too. There aren’t any major studies yet that have focused specifically on the attitudes and the experience of Laotian Americans with college education, especially the years after, but most who have attended college and graduated will tell you they feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

For the larger mainstream community, a college education, even just a little, almost ensures that they will make more money over their lifetime than those who do not. Let’s be clear: this is not a guarantee. But the statistics favor it.

As a Laotian American writer, I approach the subject philosophically. I don’t equate education with good character. It’s possible to have a degree and still do things that aren’t positive in our society. It’s possible to skip college and still be a very nice person. And I believe that people should be free to decide what it is that they want for themselves. You can’t force a person to choose to get an education if they don’t want it.

A young person has to want to see how much they can challenge their minds and their souls. If they are not interested in this, one of the most interesting of questions of life, then that is their right.

As Laotians, as a society, we will not gain anything by haranguing someone into seeing how smart they can be.

But, I will also say, much of my success today comes from a love of the pursuit of knowledge and true learning. For me, it was not about getting grades or chasing money, it was about learning those things I could use throughout my whole life, and even some things I’ve yet to find a use for. Both the good and the bad. Curiosity and an explorer’s spirit are treasures to cultivate within every human soul.

There are some very famous college dropouts. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. Michael Dell, founder of Dell Computers. William Hanna of Hanna Barbera Cartoons. Albert Einstein, inventor Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers who invented the airplane and Henry Ford who invented the automobile all were high school dropouts. The writer Maya Angelou, film director Quentin Tarantino and actor Tom Hanks were all also dropouts.

No one will dispute their accomplishments. And as Laotian Americans we should never let ourselves believe our fellow Laotians are incapable of adding great things to our community without a degree.

However, in the course of Laotian American history we are at a unique age and time when it is possible for us to freely choose any path in life we want, without anyone trying to stop us or tell us we can’t reach for our dreams.

A good college can help many Laotian Americans and make an amazing difference in your life, exposing you to amazing knowledge and opportunities you will never forget, new friends and ideas that will help you and our community.

Education is not meant to be entertaining. It is meant to be a challenge. It is one that a generation of Laotian Americans has already accepted for itself. Some of us succeeded. Many did not. But that does not make the challenge any less interesting or rewarding for those of you who accept the challenge when your time comes.

With an open eye, an open mind and a curious and compassionate heart, you will be amazed at the doors that can open for you!

On A Stairway In Luang Prabang

Step as you will through life,

A thousand ways, a thousand places.

Carry a home in your heart

Or spend years seeking the door

Where your soul will always smile.

Do you ease the way for others,

Or just yourself?

Do you climb great mountains

Just to leave them unchanged?

One day, the heights of holy Phu Si

Will lay as soft valleys.

We, only memories.

But our children’s children?

Will they, too, have reason to smile,

Like those dreaming strangers

Who finished their stairs for us?

Sou’s story

Hello, My Name is Sou short for Souphansa. I am Laotian and grew up in a very traditional Lao Home.   I graduated from Christopher Newport University in 2006 with a Bachelor’s of Art Degree in History, and Minor in Art History.

 

 I was not the typical traditional student like the many attending there at CNU.  I was a young mother of one and a spouse. However I did start out as a traditional student, you know someone who graduates from High School and immediately attends college right after. My Freshman year of college was as average as anybody’s first year at college, frat parties and football games. At that time I was attending Eastern New Mexico University and living with my parents, who of course would not let me live in the dorms because they were typical over protective Lao folks. Anyways, shortly after my freshman year I met the love of my life, a man in the Service named Alexander. We had plan on marrying and starting a family but not until after I graduate. However, that plan didn’t follow through. I got pregnant shortly after starting my sophomore year, and at the moment my simple life just became very complicated. I was now conflicted with my school situation, which quickly went from being at the forefront of my life to the rear. My parents were scared that my situation will be the demise to my college education. It was disappointing to them considering I was the first of our family to ever attend college.  But I assured them that I will continue to finish no matter what, but of course they still had their doubts. Alex and I quickly married and began preparing ourselves for a new baby, all the while, I was still going to school. I was overwhelmed with everything, yet I was also determined to finish, so determined that after I gave birth, two days later I was in class taking my finals.

 

The next challenged to my college education was moving clear across the country. Being married to someone in the military meant frequent moves. We moved to Newport News, Virginia and I applied to CNU. My Junior year at CNU was the most difficult thing I ever went through. I wanted to finish as quickly as possible so that I could focus on my family and use my degree to get us out of the financial rut that we were in, so I loaded up on classes. Not only that but, I had to work a part time job to pay for childcare. AND I was without the comfort of my parents AND in a new state going through culture shock.

 

My experience at CNU was very different then my first two years at ENMU. School was only a PART of my life, it was not my whole life. My peers there didn’t look at me differently than any other, after all I was still around their age, and I still dressed like a typical college student. Being a parent doesn’t have to completely change everything about you, just your priorities.  Anyways, nobody had a clue that I was married with a child. Only when I told them would their mouths drop in shock. Their reactions didn’t bother me much, for I was content with my life. I think what was most shocking to them was the fact that each day after school I would have to go pick up my child, prepare dinner, tuck them in bed, all before cracking a book to study. Often times I would only get four hours of sleep and fuel up on coffee.

 

By my senior year I was a pro at the juggling act. I had a daily routine going and I was enjoying school again. Alex was assigned a year tour over seas so that lighten up my load a bit. All I had to focus on that year was my daughter and graduating. School itself is Not difficult, the courses, the materials. However, what is hard is fitting school into an already busy life. Difficult but not unmanageable. You just need to have a great support system, self-discipline , and a  routine.

 

I look back at it all, and I actually miss being in school. I enjoyed the atmosphere and all the awesome courses that I took. Such as Archeology, where I got to actually digging up artifacts or the Colonial America class where we visited Thomas Jefferson’s home. All my art classes where I was able to express myself creatively. Going to college was the best challenge of my life, I’m thinking about going back…cause now I’m kind of bored.

 

First generation Lao College Student

I grew up in a small town with three middle schools and one high school. Trying to fit in. I fit in just fine. I played sports to fit in. I did gymnastics, ran track. My parents had a hard time supporting my decision. They really wanted me to focus on school but sports is what I love. I even did theatre in HS and I love it! I love acting. Playing a role other than what I was, was a great outlet. Something else my Lao parents didn’t support but they didn’t stop me. They never came to watch me in any plays I was in. But I just accepted it and still acted and played sports.

I was encouraged to attend college but never pushed by my parents. I actually married before I graduated High School. I married my HS sweetheart. I eventually finish college. Yes 15 years later! OMG! that was hard work. To work full time, to be a wife and a mom and raise two children, and to work on BSBA. Very hard but definitely rewarding feeling.
Yes I did take college classes after I got married but one class here and one class there. Then there came our first child. 5 years later still one class here and one class there. 4 years later…. one more child. still one class here and one class there. Until 05 when I decided to stay at home and be a full time student/mom/wife/soccer coach/ptl mom.
But three years of continous school finally paid off. I finally finished and graduated Magna Cum Laude August of 08. I am very proud of myself to finally be done and my parents are proud as well. I am the first in my family to graduate from college. I am proud to set that example for my children. I tell my children college is important.  Even though I am a mom and married school is important and to never give up on your college dream.

Lao students

I consider myself a pretty good teacher in terms of student success and motivation.  I vary my teaching styly regularly to keep my students motivated and interested.  For example, we do a great deal of collaborative work where I allow them to work together but each individual in their group has a role: reader, writer, leader and speaker. Sometimes when you put kids in groups they just mess around unless they are responsible for something.  Besides collaborative work, we do projects.  For example, when we were studying about the War of 1812, we talked about how Francis Scott Key came up with the Star-Spangled Banner and the meaning of the song.  After I briefly lecture them on it, we had a   competition where they sang the Star- Spangled Banner.  Then they had to write and perform their own patriotic songs.  I could go on and on but I will not because the point I’m trying to make is this: students in America are lucky to be going to school.  I know often times they complain about how boring their class is, how ugly their classroom is, or how lacking in resources their school are.  After you watch this video of a Lao school, I hope all of us in America realizes how fortunate we are to live in a place where we have air-conditioned classrooms, free and reduced lunches for kids who can’t afford to buy their food, and opportunities to learn in a different way.

What I am most impressed by the Lao students in the video is that even though all they are doing is copying down the words or sentences, repeat it and do it all over again, they seem to focus and concentrate on their work. You don’t see kids messing around, gazing out the window, doodling, or being inattentive. These kids are making the most of their situation and doing the best they can.  The next time you feel like complaining, please take a moment to remember what we have here in the American schools.

Week in Rap

If you like music and you find regular news boring, click on the tap on the right that says: Current events.  The site was created by Flocabulary.  So  if you want to know what is going on in the world, but not have time to watch the news, check out the link.  I have uploaded an example of a week in rap for you to get an idea of what the site is about.  Every week they have a new video and they use the headline news and rap about it.

Interactive sites for students and learners

This video has some pretty cool sites for students to use.

Technology and Education

I started teaching in 1994 where technology did not play a major part in learning or the way I taught.  The only technology I had and used back then was an overhead projector.  Now that has been replaced by an LCD projector.  This small piece of machinery and the computer has revolutionized the way I teach. At the click of my fingertips and within seconds I can show my students recent pictures, articles, and information ab0ut the topic we are studying. I can even let them listen to music from the time period we are studying in history. Yes, I can’t argue that technology has not made my life as a teacher so much easier because it has.  Technology has made my lessons more interesting and revelant to my students. Instead of telling them, I can actually show them. 

I am grateful for the invention of the computers and LCD projectors, but on the other hand I find myself relying on it too much at times which is not good especially when we have a power outage.  I often joke with my students that we might not be able to function without technology, but when we really think about, is there a certain truth to it? Are we, teachers and students becoming too reliant on technology for how we learn? Has technology made us lazier?

I know technology has become important in the lives of teachers, but has it become a problem for students?  Are kids letting technology like the computer/internet “think’ and “do” their work for them?  For example, some kids don’t get stress out about reading a novel because they know they can just go to spark notes to read the breakdown and analysis for the book in less time. Are we creating a group of zombie learners? Are our students becoming to obsessed with technology that it is having an adverse effect on their learning?  Are the modern day students care more about reading profiles on myspace or facebook instead of sitting down to read a book?